One overwhelming thought has popped into my head since the beginning of my time on this earth – am I good enough?
2020 started me on a high. I woke up at 6am to go on a grade 5 hike with one of my best friends. As a kid, hopping and climbing rocks was one of my favourite things to do. You couldn’t stop me if you tried. But lately, that kind of thing hasn’t been on the cards for me. Not with the way my health has been.
But on this day, I pushed through it. I pushed through any symptoms I had, I pushed through any limitations caused by my medications, and made it to the very top of that mountain and back again. I felt more like myself than I have in years.
I felt invincible, because I allowed myself to be (with a little help of Jess feeding me red lollies along the way.)
I’m at a stage in life, a crossroad. I’m not working full time because my health just kept going backwards, and I’m holding myself off from writing too much of my book because I’m scared of failing. Because I don’t know – am I good enough?
Guess what? I am good enough. I’m good enough to write a book – twenty books if I really want to. And now is the time, during my crossroad.
But this is a thought we all have. A thought that halts all of us when we attempt something scary and different. Something challenging. Exactly like hiking up a rocky mountain. We can do it, if we just push through the limitations and the fear. Allow ourselves to do what feels impossible and out of reach, simply because we make it that way.
There are disasters flooding our world. Fires ravaging my home country of Australia. Devastation follows. People losing lives, losing homes. Hundreds of thousands of beautiful animals perishing.
At a time like this, I realise I’m lucky – privileged even. I have a desire to do something great, and the ability to, the tools to. With only myself holding me back.
My heart genuinely breaks every single day for my country, and my love grows. Why would I sit here second guessing myself, doubting myself, when there are much worse and more devastating things happening in our world?
The answer is simple. I’m human.
I had one woman question my ability as a copywriter, as she’d read my blog. “How do you go from a blogger with chronic illnesses to a professional copywriter? Did you get professional training?” These questions from another person, one who doesn’t know me or my professional background, made me question myself. The funny thing is, blogging is a form of copywriting in itself, and yet I still doubted myself fully.
Wow, am I qualified to do this? I mean, if this one person in the world is questioning it, maybe I should be too?
What’s that – I have years of experience as a business development administrator, including copywriting, so why should I be doubting myself? Because this one person implied I should. So there for I will.
Seems legit, right? *Rolls eyes*
Not only that, but how did the fact that I have chronic illnesses get brought up? Why is it that I can’t be both chronically ill, and still a professional human being? I love my work, I’m good at it. I’m sick, but I’m still a deeply dedicated and passionate professional.
The sad fact is, that people will always hold that doubt surrounding people who are chronically ill. Are they actually competent in what they do, if they’re also sick? Are they good enough?
Yes, we are. That’s what makes us warriors 😉
“Your work is important and it’s good, and you need to believe in that.”
Thank you everyone for reading my slightly disjointed musings ❤ – Laura