The Pharmacy Handbag

Okay, let’s be real for a second. My handbag doesn’t ACTUALLY carry the entire contents of a pharmacy… But it’s pretty darn close!

My handbag is probably a drug addicts dream (not trying to be insensitive, just blatantly honest.) The sad part is, it doesn’t even carry all my medications… Yep, living the dream!

While people often joke about how many medications I carry around, I’m not sure they realise that it’s purely out of necessity. I won’t give the full list, but here’s a quick run down on what I carry on any given day.

Five different pain killers, each different and each stronger than the one before. The milder ones are for my joint pain, but when I get a migraine I’m meant to start on the milder and work my way up until one is effective. This sometimes leaves me quite drugged up during a bad migraine, but c’est la vie! If you’ve ever had a migraine, you’d understand it’s not something you can just push through, these medications definitely are necessary. Along with that is an anti-nausea medication to prevent sickness during migraines.

Moving on to my crazy heart rate and the nightmarish symptoms I get along with that. I carry beta blockers to help control that and my chest pain, as well as Valium in case my heart rate is out of control and causing panic attacks. So what are we up to? Eight different medications so far?

I’m just rummaging through my handbag as I type this, and it’s a little bit terrifying. There are also the medications that I carry in case I get side effects from the medications treating everything else. This includes antacids, Buscopan, allergy tablets (this time of year is a killer for a lot of us, so that’s pretty normal!) And then I carry a little container with the medications and vitamins I need to take regularly.

Oh… And a bottle of water to take any of the above mentioned medications. *Face palm*

How exhausting to have to pack and carry and remember so many medications every day. How exhausting to have people look at you like you’re a hypochondriac or simply carrying around prescription medication for the fun of it. How exhausting to have people think you’re just a wuss and can’t handle pain.

I experience pain daily, I live in pain. I can handle it, because I’m used to it. Pain for me is like blinking for you, normal and a part of your every day life. When you see me taking medication for the pain, it’s getting real bad. When you see me taking medication for it, I’m usually at work or somewhere else far from the comfort of my bed, and I’m slightly terrified of letting it get so bad that I can’t even make it home. Trust me, it’s almost come to that many times before.

I often watch people on TV, see them doing things that everyone else does on a daily basis, see them planning multiple activities in one day without fear of any repercussions, fear of extra pain and debilitating fatigue. I see them staying awake past 8pm without feeling exhausted and wonder what that’s like. Even on holidays in Fiji, or planning any kind of relaxing holiday, I have to always be thinking about my health and putting that first. You want the truth? I’m as positive as I can be every day, but being completely honest, I hate that. I HATE being sick, because in a lot of ways, it’s preventing me from fully being me.

My personality is still full of energy, but my body is not.

So yes, I carry a pharmacy worth of medication in my handbag, and it is kind of funny. But it’s also for a very good reason.

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