Approximately 3 years ago I left my 7 year career in floristry and retail, and found a job as a receptionist at a medium sized construction company. You know what? I absolutely loved it. The culture, the people, the family feel, the work and the fun. My heart told me that I wanted to spend every work day for the rest of my life with this company, because coming to work felt like coming home. I was actually EXCITED to go to work every day, who would have thought?!
I moved up in this company within that 3 years – to office administrator and then to office coordinator. I partied at every company event, made friends and danced the nights away.
Then I got sick. One and a half years later, with a heavy heart, I quit my job.
It felt like everything changed when I got sick, and I lost so much. Most of all, I lost my sense of self. I’ve spent the last year and a half fighting my ass off to get answers. Doctor after doctor, person after person. I stopped going out partying, I even found it hard to socialise at all. How could I relate to everyone else when my every day life was a constant battle? How could I explain that to anyone? I even stopped getting excited to come to work, because feeling sick every day made it hard to get excited to get out of bed, let alone go to work.
It changed me irreparably. But after over a year of losing myself, I found myself. I stopped fighting the world around me, and I found acceptance. Acceptance of my still undiagnosed condition, acceptance of who I’ve become, and acceptance that nothing can last forever. I contently resigned from my job.
Now I find myself thinking back over the years with this company, and how much it shaped me. I gained a confidence and a strength through this company that I didn’t know I had in me, because I worked for men and women who believed in me, and who inspired me to do more. I found a family. I’m not sorry that I worked there for three short years, but I am sorry that it has ended so soon.
However, through that sadness, I also feel excited and hopeful. Everything is about to change, and I need that. I’ve changed so much, so my life needs to also. I won’t see this is a complete loss, not after how much I gained. There are positives in every situation if you just look hard enough.
I found that I have a voice, that I have a lot to say, and that people actually want to hear it. Some people actually NEED to hear it. And that’s what I’m doing here. If I can bring some good out of a shitty situation, I’m going to do it. So I resigned from one journey, but I sit here starting another, for myself and for everyone else out there in my situation. And I’m going to use the skills and experience I gained through that company and from the people in it to do it.
Onwards and upwards! ❤